come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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