They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Mom said you looked used
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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