He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I just sucked dick on a ferry
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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