You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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