but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
