Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
my poor anus
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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