Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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