well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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