do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
