I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
