Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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