my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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