Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
