I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Randomize