obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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