I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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