Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
