I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
