So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
