dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
