would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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