You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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