Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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