And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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