I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
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