i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
