Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
