We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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