the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
