do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
We are two peas in an std pod
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
