we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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