No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
