I've blown a few things in my day
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
organizing the empties. That sober.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
