I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
