For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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