Michael Bay diarrhea
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
