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• (813): View more from Florida

  Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol

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• (762): View more from Georgia

  Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.

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• (818): View more from California

  You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.

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• (516): View more from New York

  She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k

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• (239): View more from Florida

  Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.

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• (514): View more from Quebec

  He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?

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• (425): View more from Washington

  Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.

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• (931): View more from Tennessee

  You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.

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