Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
