Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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