She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize