I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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