but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Randomize
