when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
