Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I want her autograph on my taint
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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