Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I have demons in me.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
