i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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