Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
