God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
