Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
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