Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
