Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
We're using joints as your birthday candles
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
