If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize