Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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