This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
