please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
