It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
