Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
