he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
