I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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