if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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