32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
