So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i came on her dog
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
i've created a new STD.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize