They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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